In 1984 Foreigner released the “power ballad” that shares the title of this blog. Last time, the question was asked, “What’s love got to do with it?” In the song by Tina Turner, we are told that Love is nothing more than a “second hand emotion.”
As was mentioned before, our society is very confused in general as to what love is. So many times the feelings of infatuation, attraction, and even lust are confused with love. Certainly these emotions can be felt towardss the person that is the “object of our affection,” but these are the second hand emotions – and rather shallow ones at that. In fact it has been said that researchers have discovered that “infatuation” only lasts about two years on average.
Therefore, love must go deeper than emotion. The fact that infatuation and attraction are powerful forces cannot be denied. They are real feelings that we often enjoy, and sometimes dread. However, how far can these emotions take us? If our definition of love only takes us to the level euphoria, as these do, then when will we be when we come down from that high? Or, what will become of our relationships if they do not grow deeper? What shall we do if our spouses are not as attractive to us twenty years after we “fell in love with them? Or, what shall we do if we have more differences than similarities? Shall we throw our hands up in the air and walk away in exasperation? Shall we become embittered at our spouse because our marriage is not how we envisioned it? It is our choice. We can choose to be or to do those things that were just mentioned. Really, who could blame us if we did? Doesn’t God want us to be happy, isn’t it my right to be happy over everybody else? Of course if one took such a route, it could be considered selfish. After all, if you are married your vows did not say, “for better or worse, as long as you are happy.” The other choice that is presented to all of us is to be selfless. Your wife may upset you about something, or maybe even about many things. Your husband may come across as a jerk after a long day of work. These are just a couple of possibilities in an infinite sea of them. Think about your own relationship and/or marriage. If we take the selfish road, then we will not care why our wife has upset us – we will just know that our rights have been violated, and she should not have done that! On the selfish road, if your husband is grumpy. You won’t bother to learn what you can do to make it better. You will allow his frustration to grow within you, making a bad situation even worse. And thus, you will find yourself in a vicious cycle, that you will feel helpless to break. However, if we take the selfless way, then we will overlook our partner’s shortcomings to the best of our ability. We will realize that, yes she may have upset me, but how many times have I upset her? We will understand that even though he may be grumpy, there is a reason, and I have been grumpy with him too. We will cut our partner a little slack, because we will understand that we are not perfect, and because we truly love him or her. (Please do not misunderstand, this does not cover abuse and other life threatening situations).
So, what is love, anway? The Bible defines love in different ways. It is defined by both deeds and actions, rather than words. However, what we see throughout the scriptures, is that love is always a choice. How is that? In our culture we often speak of love as if it is something we cannot control. If we “fall” in love, then we can “fall” back out of it. We talk about our hearts and our minds as if they were two separate entities. However, our hearts and our minds are one and the same. We do choose who we love, and how strongly we love them.
As in all things, God in Christ is our example in love. From the very beginning we see God choosing to love. It has often been asked, “Why did God create humanity, knowing that we would sin?” We have a very limited knowledge of God’s mind, so it would be difficult to answer this question with complete confidence. Yet, we can at least scratch the surface.
What compels people to have children? All to many of us have known the pain of a child who does not make it full term within the mother’s womb. Also, many of us have experienced the sorrow of a child who is disabled or has a terminal disease. Furthermore, we know that it is possible that our children may not reciprocate our love, and may even rebel against the way that we have raised them. With the possibilities of such heart break looming with each life, why do most people yearn to bring children into this world? Is the answer not “love?” Do we not long to share our love with the next generation? Again, that does not cover everything in the question above. But it does give us some insight. There are two things that we desire: to love and to be loved. Is it not possible that God deisres to share His love, even if we will not reciprocate? Not only does the creation of humanity manifest this truth, but the very incarnation of Christ implies it as well.
As any Bible student knows, God’s love was rejected by those whom He lovingly gave life. Yet, in His loving mercy He chose to delay the judgment that was His right to dispense. For thousands of years, the results of this “Pandora’s Box” brought new horrors from and upon God’s creation. Until at last because of their continual evil thoughts and violent ways, God brought judgment (Genesis 6.5, 11). Yet even then His love required mercy and so He safely brough humanity to and from the brink of extinction.
Through the thousands of years that ensued after the flood, God manifested His enduring steadfast love to both Jew and Gentile. But love was and is manifested with crystal clarity in the teachings and sacrifice of Christ. We all recall what Jesus taught Nicodemus (John 3.16). We also remember what John wrote – “God is love” (1 John 4.8).
Indeed, God is love. But that love that He gives to us does not stem from infatuation or euphoria. In fact, it is quite the opposite. He chooses to love us in spite of our sin, in spite of our ugliness, in spite of our rebellion (Romans 5.8). He chooses to love us, though we are unlovable, though we have made ourselves ugly, and reject His love regularly.
God does not walk away when those whom He loves upsets Him, or come across as ungrateful “jerks.” So, let us take a cue, for the author of love teaches us what it is by showing us what it is. He continues to work towards reconciliation through His Son; for His steadfast love endures forever.

I was first introduced to Ted Dekker almost ten years ago with his Circle Trilogy, which remains one of my favorite fictitious stories that I have ever read. Sadly, I have not read much of his work past that, though there is a book or too. I always look at his books with the intent of purchasing every one of them eventually, but that hasn’t come yet. A few years ago, the book you see to your left came to my attention. It was also one of those “eventually” books. Thankfully, my wife knows what I like, and she saw me ogling it several times, so she gave it to me for my birthday. I have read it twice: once last year, and have just recently finished it again. I thoroughly enjoyed it both times, and believe that it is one of the most important books of recent history. The stated purpose of the book is to see if it is possible to follow Jesus’ most difficult teaching – to love our enemies.

